10 Things I hate about weddings

I'm home from the wedding. You know what, I realized how much I hate Weddings. So I'm going to give you the Top 10 Things I hate about Weddings.

10. Why are they so long? Sit, stand, sit stand...keep standing, sit stand...for more than an hour. My glutes had a workout.

9. Why does the food have to suck? Can't we just bring in some good Pizza and Beer?

8. People I'm supposed to know. I don't know them, and I don't care to.

7. Estranged Family. This is always fun. Lets talk to my former cousin who just disapeared 8 years ago and act like nothing happened. Or the Uncle who cheated on my aunt. How odd is this?

6. No open bar. We all need it.

5. The DJ. The Government has got to step in and start regulating these guys. If it's not the bad music, it's the bad jokes.

4. Dancing. I don't dance. So don't try to make me.

3. Music. That woman with the Casio keyboard in the corner playing, "Here Comes the Bride", and "Ave Maria". It's like the first weeks of American Idol.

2. Pictures. I know it is an important day, but how many pictures do you really need? Can you even fit 1,244 photos on your wall? Do they even fit in the Wedding Album? Just point me to the bar.

1. Tossing the Garder. Men don't like this, at all! They would rather touch a Swine Flu infested needle than that garder. Stop doing it.